Key Concepts
Seven new concepts foundational to your journey of Growing Big in Love
Drawn from Raven’s new book, Growing Big in Love, these seven new groundbreaking concepts will form the foundation of your understanding of his teachings. Please take the time to read each new concept carefully below.
Unloving Beliefs | Love Reversal | Transition Phase | The Mind | Memory | Communicating | Karma
Every unloving emotion is a kind of pain. Hatred, fear, jealousy, shame, guilt, greed, anger, boredom, loneliness, and hurt are all different kinds of pain. And every unloving emotion you have ever experienced has been caused by an unloving belief you have within you.
To see how this works, think of something that made you feel upset in the last few days, some experience that made you feel frustrated, angry, or annoyed. As soon as you have the experience in your mind, relive it for five seconds. Then stop and feel where the pain of the experience shows up in your body.
Where did the pain show up for you? Your gut? Your heart? Your throat? Your head? Somewhere else? Isn’t that amazing?! That pain you just experienced was caused by an unloving belief about that experience. As soon as you let yourself feel the experience, your unloving belief about the experience triggered an emotional response and you felt the pain of it in your body.
Now let’s try another one. Think of some other experience that made you feel frustrated, angry, or annoyed, something that is in no way related to the experience you just now relived. As soon as you have it, relive it for five seconds and see where that pain shows up.
Where did the pain show up this time? Was it in the same place? Was it in a different place?
In a room of a hundred people, about eighty will feel the second pain in a different place, while the other twenty will feel it in the same place.
What this experiment shows is that throughout your life you have accumulated hundreds of unloving beliefs about many different things. Every time you think of something that triggers an unloving belief, or whenever you are in the presence of the subject of an unloving belief, it triggers the pain of the unloving emotion created from that belief. We experience these painful feelings many, many times a day, day after day, and they cause chronic pain, accidents, calamities, disease, emotional and mental disorders, and eventually death. Our bodies can only handle so much pain before they break down, grow old and die.
That’s a lot of pain!
Fortunately, we have the antidote to pain already inside us. All we need to do is to learn to tap into it. Some of us are not able to feel it, but all of us have it in us.
We have Love!
The challenge to healing an unloving belief is that every unloving belief has a corresponding habit that goes with it and in order to heal them, you must understand how and then actually do the work that it takes to do it. Growing Big In Love is written to show you the process of how to do that.
When a child experiences something unloving over and over again, many times a day, day after day for years, that unloving pattern becomes comfortable. The child then can misinterpret the unloving act as Love, when it is not. This is a Love Reversal.
For example, if a child has a parent, or two parents, who only know how to parent by yelling loudly with disdain and anger, hitting the child often, the child becomes comfortable in what is clearly an abusive relationship. As the child grows older, s/he attracts abusive people to her/him because they are the kind of people s/he feels comfortable with. If a truly Loving person enters her/his life, s/he may feel annoyed and agitated because the Love is so foreign to her/him. S/He feels comfortable only in abusive relationships because they are familiar. S/He could actually misconstrue the abuse as love.
It is the constant bombardment of trauma that makes Love Reversals different from beliefs. There can be one or two and sometimes three unloving beliefs working together to create a Love Reversal. If a person has more than one belief causing a Love Reversal, each additional belief makes the Love Reversal stronger. The stronger a Love Reversal is, the harder it is to see in yourself, understand, and heal.
The Love Reversal described above is an obvious one. It was caused by very strong trauma, the child being yelled at and hit every day. We experience many different kinds of trauma every day, and those traumas can cause us to develop many different kinds of Love Reversals. Some of them are quite subtle.
For instance, you might enjoy making money and be very good at it, and at the same time be terrified inside that you will never make enough. Through learning how to understand and heal your unloving beliefs, you might find that your father was always afraid that he would never make enough money. He actually raged about the fact that they never had enough money all the time. The patterns of acting and reacting in fear, the unloving beliefs around money, you learned from your father. And this Love Reversal could have many unloving beliefs connected to it, like being afraid to pay the bills, being afraid to buy necessities, being afraid you won’t have enough work for the week, etc.
This is how it works. We learn most of our unloving beliefs, Love Reversals, and habits from being around and imitating our parents and siblings, or from those people who raise us when we are children. In this way, the unloving patterns are passed from generation to generation through our lineages.
Another example would be when you get into a new relationship, you might find that if your partner does something without you, you feel terrified that s/he is going to leave you. It can affect you so strongly that you have a meltdown almost every time. These reactions make you feel clingy and insecure. These actions will push most new partners away. And upon working on yourself, you find that when you were young and your parents divorced and your father went away, it crushed you and you felt alone and abandoned! The abandoned feeling was so strong that it affected you every day for a long time. So now that you are older, the abandonment feeling comes up strongly every time you become afraid your partner is not including you, or they turn away from you or leave you.
Love Reversals are easy for other people to see in us because we are acting and reacting in unloving ways, but they are very difficult to see in ourselves, especially when they involve multiple unloving beliefs. They feel comfortable and normal to us so we do not see or feel them as unloving in ourselves.
Love Reversals can be stronger than instinct. Our instinct when we experience trauma is to fight, flee, freeze, or fold. If a parent is hitting or beating you, you can’t do any of those; you can’t do what is instinctual. You just have to take the pain. Taking the pain is stronger than instinct. So when Love Reversals develop under that kind of trauma, it can take a tremendous act of willpower to change the unloving habits that have been established.
And once again, changing a Love Reversal is only possible if you know it is there, and it is very difficult to know they are there because they feel comfortable to us.
One thing to note is that Loving energy is a marked contrast to Love Reversals. So if you learn to use a Loving Smile and/or any of the other six Love Tools you are going to learn about in the book Growing Big In Love, if you learn to add more and more Love into your life daily so that you grow big in Love, it becomes possible and easier to see Love Reversals within you because of the contrast, and to heal any Love Reversal once you find it.
By using the Loving Smile daily, you are growing your willpower through your heart instead of your head. Empowering your willpower through your heart gives most people an experience of life they have never had before. It makes you more aware of what is happening to your heart, thereby making it easier to see, understand, and heal old unloving habits. You grow stronger and stronger in Love, which gives you the power to affect the tremendous act of will you need to heal Love Reversal habits!
Love Reversals make us numb to our pain. We’ve experienced the pain so many times that we’ve become numb to it. When you were young and being abused and experiencing the trauma many times a day, your body became numb to the pain as a result from being in shock all the time. I have had clients who could not remember any of their childhood because there was so much numbness. This numbness and pain also made it difficult for them to be playful. They were never able to relax, and that became normal for them. It’s as if they were shell-shocked throughout all of their childhood. So this numbing quality of Love Reversals effectively hides the pain we should feel when we act and react in unloving ways, making it very difficult to know the difference between right and wrong.
Our instincts protect us. They are there to help us preserve our lives. Since Love Reversals can be stronger than instinct and are the opposite of Love, the Love Reversals lead us into a distorted view of the world, and are the underlying cause of obsession and justification.
If Love Reversals did not exist here on Earth, living in Love would be much easier. When you are in a strong, Loving space and you move away from Love in any fashion, it hurts, a lot. If there were no Love Reversals, we would never even consider getting angry for any length of time, especially at someone we Love, and especially at a child because we would feel how much we are hurting the other person and ourselves. We would never even think about hating anything. It just hurts too much to do that. We would find it very difficult to lie, or cheat, or steal, or do anything that was not Loving because it would simply be too painful.
But we do have Love Reversals in us and we are numb to the pain. We are so numb that we actually feel justified in acting and reacting in unloving ways, even when it hurts us and other people. We even feel compelled to act and react in unloving ways, believing we are right. Some people will even kill to prove they are right.
If you ever feel justified about doing something, you are most definitely under the influence of a Love Reversal. It is very important to not make decisions when you feel justified. Feeling justified is one of the most poisonous and painful feelings you may ever feel and it is one of the most powerful deceptions there could ever be. Feeling justified makes you feel good about hurting other people or feeling good when other people hurt. Find a way to get your heart open. Try to get in a Loving space before you make a decision.
God, the Universe, our guides, or whatever you believe in, went to a lot of trouble to make Love Reversals as real as they are. In fact, when you get deep into the art of healing your unloving beliefs, you will find that the strength of will, the intelligence, and all the benefits you gain from healing Love Reversals, has no equal. From this perspective, planet Earth seems to be designed specifically to enable us to develop Love Reversals so that we can heal them. It is possibly the most important reason that the Earth is being created. They are that important. The end results, the healing of all the Love Reversals and the unloving habits that go with them, leave the one healed, standing and living in the field of Integrity that can only be gained by said journey. And the path that stretches out before this healed one is very wondrous indeed! It constitutes a whole new way of living!
We would like to offer you a way to heal your Love Reversals. The process is called the Love Healing Process and it is simple. Grow in Love more everyday so you become bigger than your pain. Understand that the unloving beliefs that are causing the Love Reversals are not true. Release the pain that you could not release because you thought the unloving beliefs were true. Change the habits caused by the unloving beliefs. The Love Healing Process is the subject of the second half of Growing Big In Love where each of these concepts is explained in great detail.
If you practice Love Time (spending short amounts of time making yourself feel the most love you can feel) on a daily basis for weeks, you will begin to become more aware. You will become more mindful of the thoughts you are thinking and how they affect you. You will become more aware of the state of your heart, is it open or closed, and the state of other people’s hearts. You will find places in your life where your unloving beliefs seem to literally run your life. And since you are adding more Love into your life and you are growing in Love, the accumulation of the Love creates a kind of byproduct of adding Love, which is the old unloving habits and programming become more obvious and more uncomfortable.
This byproduct of adding Love, that adding Love makes you more uncomfortable with your unloving beliefs and habits, is the main reason some people have a hard time growing in Love. For many people, as soon as they start adding Love into their lives, they feel their unloving beliefs and habits so much more than they ever did, that it is easier, it is more comfortable, to not add the Love. But if you know that this is going to happen, and if you want to change your unloving habits, it is a very important and necessary to grow in Love, so that you will have the strength, Loving energy, and Loving willpower, to change your unloving habits and to heal your pain.
Once you start healing unloving beliefs and habits, some of the uncomfortable energy will be relieved. And at the same time, you may reach a point in your growth when you feel uncomfortable with your old habits and feeling states, but have yet to become comfortable with new habits and feeling states. When you reach this point, it may be hard for you to feel comfortable about anything for a time. This phase of spiritual development is called a Transition Phase.
For a short period of time, just about everything feels uncomfortable.
This is a natural process. This is a powerful process! And as you come to understand more about it through experience, you will realize that these Transition Phases will afford you opportunities to heal many different things about your life, while growing strong in character.
Each one of us has a physical body, a mental body, an emotional body, a spiritual body, and an extraordinary mind. Each of the four bodies has its own characteristics and properties and you can read about these in Growing Big In Love. For now it’s important for you to know that they all work together being parts of the mind to give us the experience of life.
If you ask yourself, “What part of my mind is choosing what to think or fantasize about, what to need or want, what to do or not do, you would be right if you answered, “It is I who am making the decisions.” You are the one who decides what, when and how to move, proceed, think, fantasize, and figure something out, or not.
You are the sum product of your memories; of the experiences that your actions and reactions have created. You are also the sum product of the way you were raised. In some ways you learned to think and believe in imitation of those around you, the adults, siblings, and friends you spent a lot of time with. While in other ways you came up with your own ideas and thoughts on how to act and react. And now you are the pointer of your mind. Whatever you decide to focus on, the other parts of your mind and bodies, provide information, produce feelings, and/or move your physical body according to your intentions and direction.
According to the Tantric teachings and what I have learned from my guides, your mind has two parts: a Conscious mind and an Inner Conscious mind. These parts give you information and create your emotions about what you decide to focus on, in every given moment. I have coined the idea of the Inner Conscious mind because it is much different from the ideas of Unconscious or Subconscious mind.
Your Conscious mind comprises your five senses. Your Conscious mind gives you sensory information relevant to whatever you consciously focus on: how it looks, sounds, tastes, smells, or feels, singly or in combination. You also have a sixth sense, which is usually called intuition. Some people are adept at using their intuition and some are not. The bigger a person grows in Love, the stronger the intuition becomes, and the easier it is to use.
The second part of your mind is your Inner Conscious. The function of the Inner Conscious is to feed you information from your memory or intuition, about the object of your focus, based on your beliefs and knowledge. It also produces your feelings or emotions, which are also based on those same beliefs and knowledge.
Here is an example:
Let’s pretend that you have lit a candle, vanilla scented, and it sits before you.
If you focus your attention on the candle flame, your Conscious mind will give you information like: you can see the light the flame gives off, the closer you get to the flame you can feel how warm it is, unless you touch it, and then it feels extremely hot to the point of burning you; you can hear the flame whipping around when a breeze blows it; and you can smell the candle’s scent because of the flame. Your Inner Conscious will give you information that you believe or know to be true, the most pertinent first, such as: the candle is lit, it is fire, the fire is hot, it gives off light, it is very pretty, there’s a breeze that is making the fire dance, the heat is making the candle give off a pleasant scent, and so on.
Along with this feed of information from your Conscious and Inner Conscious, your Inner Conscious creates the emotions that go with the information, based on your beliefs about it, such as;
Your Conscious and Inner Conscious perform this way for you throughout your waking hours, every moment of every day.
As soon as you change your point of focus, your Conscious and Inner Conscious both shift to supplying information about whatever you’re now focusing on, and produce the emotions that go with the beliefs about the information. You can focus on anything around you, within you, in your past, present or future, any idea, concept, emotion, or feeling. In this way, you move through life learning to make sense of your reality, or your thoughts or fantasies, through what is commonly known as thinking. Most of your thinking is analyzing your reality, your feelings, your past, present, and future, your fantasies; asking yourself question after question about where you are, what you should do, how you should act and when, to what extent, and so on.
What is truly fascinating is that your mind is channeling an incredible amount of energy through your thoughts, moment by moment, from your spiritual body. If whatever you are focusing on or thinking about involves movement of your physical body, your body uses the energy from your spiritual body to perform the movements needed effortlessly (usually), with little direction needed. If you are experiencing emotions, the energy is making your feelings alive with Love or pain, and you get to perceive your experience and decide whether it is Love or pain. If you are analyzing your past, present, or future, the energy is available to help you search your memories and/or intuition to discover what you are looking for. If you are fantasizing, the energy is there to help you search your memories in order to create imaginative, wondrous, fantastical ideas. Like your heart muscle forever beating in your physical body, the energy from your spiritual body is always there to help you discover the answers to all your questions and inquiries. And if you learn to meditate, if you learn how to stop your thinking process, the energy that you use for thinking starts to build up. It makes your spiritual body grow bigger, and the extra energy becomes available to empower the thoughts and intentions that you set for yourself. If you’re smiling with your heart wide open when you’re meditating, you will be filled with so much Love.
This understanding of how the mind works gives you advantages when learning to heal unloving beliefs, Love Reversals, and habits. Knowing that your emotions are produced by what you believe gives you choices about what you can do to make your life better in any given moment. We will explain this characteristic in detail in Chapter 7, Loving Questions in Growing Big In Love. Simply, if you choose to focus on Love, your Inner Conscious will give you Loving feelings. If your heart is open when you focus on Love, you will definitely feel Loving feelings and emotions. If your heart is closed when you are focused on Love, even if you cannot feel the Love, your Loving thoughts will empower you to act in Loving ways. (Yes, you can choose to act in Love even if you are not feeling love because your heart is closed.) Then, in time, your heart may open to feel the Love. Focusing on Love, whether your heart is open or closed, is always a win-win. And one of the most powerful ways to do that is to learn how to Lovingly Smile any time you can.
Along with this information about the mind, we also have four bodies that are different parts of the mind, working together to create our lives moment by moment.
To read more you will need to purchase a copy of Growing Big In Love.
There are two vital phenomena that are behind the total creation of any and all life. Love and Memory.
Love is the conscious life, the reason, the drive, the exquisite explosion of who, what, how, and why. Memory is what makes Love alive and what gives Love a past and a when, a meaning to the present. Memory is what gives Love the ability to ponder itself, or any part of itself to ponder any other part of itself, to think, to analyze, to explore while knowing it is exploring, to gain experience and wisdom, and to use it.
Our memory is one of the biggest parts of our minds/lives, one of the most fascinating parts of who we are, and the part that most defines who we are. If we couldn’t remember what we have done, what we have experienced and felt, we would not be able to learn. Everything that we do is based on being able to remember our experience and on what, how and when we have learned what we have learned.
I was pondering the phenomena of the memory one day, trying to understand “Where is my memory?” I was asking myself, “How is it even possible for me to remember the amount of information that is generated by the creation of my life, moment by moment? Just the amount of memory generated second to second is mind blowing. Where is all the information stored?” I was meditating on this, asking the universe to show me how all of this was possible, when I was given a vision.
If you were to travel out into space for about a million miles and then turn back around and look at the Earth, spinning and moving around the Sun in its incredible revolution, and if you could step out of time so that you could see the path the Earth has taken in time, you would see that the earth has followed an ever spiraling path that would go back in time to the beginning, when it was created. Since the beginning, the Sun has been moving on its path through our Galaxy, and the Earth has been spinning and revolving around the Sun, leaving a spiral trail all the way up to this moment in time.
That spiral path is where all of our memory is located. For you, from the moment you were born, your memory path has been part of the Earth’s spiral path up to this moment in time. Your memories of all your life experiences are right where you left them, spiraling back in time until the moment you were born. We will refer to this part of our memory as the Spiral. Some people can even remember lifetimes they had, farther down the Spiral and most people can do this after they learn how.
Since I had that vision, I have been working with my Guides to understand more about how the memory works metaphysically and this is what I have learned.
There are two memory functions that are connected to the third eye. They are actually major chakras located above the Crown Chakra. The one directly above the Crown Chakra is called the Manas Chakra and the one above that is called the Shear Chakra. The word Shear is a word my guides gave to me to name this Chakra.
The Manas Chakra
If you could see the Manas Chakra of an adult, it would appear that the person would have a multicolored sphere hovering over their head. In adults, this Manas Sphere serves as the place where short term memory is located.
The Manas Chakra functions like a program that remembers patterns. Microsoft Word has a program that searches for words in a document. If you look for the word “now” and search a document, the search will show you everyplace you can find the word “now”. The Manas Chakra works in a similar although more complex fashion. It is constantly making a person aware of and attuned to the patterns around them—patterns of acting and reacting, comfort and annoyances, pain and pleasure—and it is constantly giving us the stimulus to move and to figure out what to do with our time.
When a child is born, the Manas Chakra completely encapsulates his/her physical body, again looking like a sphere that reaches about eight to ten feet around the child. So the Manas Chakra is constantly making the child aware of patterns and when a person comes into the field of the Chakra, the child can feel how that person is feeling, the same way the person feels themselves to some degree. (We call individuals who retain this ability clairsenseate.) So when a person comes into the child’s Manas Chakra, what the child is getting through the Chakra is an awareness of the patterns of acting and reacting that that person is presenting. This enables the child to attune to the lineage, the patterns of acting and reacting that this family deems important. This enables the child to start making sense out of what is constantly happening around him/her according to his/her family’s lineage. Some of the patterns from each person that comes into his space establish the basic identities like who is mom, dad, grandparents, siblings, dog. Whatever the mindset of the people around the child present, the child will slowly learn to act and react in a similar fashion, thereby learning to understand by imitating the patterns.
As the child grows older, gaining experience, the patterns become easier and easier for the child to understand. And as the child grows older still, this feeling characteristic of the Chakra grows weaker and weaker, eventually leaving the child with just his physical senses and the ability to think for himself. Generally, around the age of seven, the Manas Chakra starts to recede upwards and within three to six years is completely above the person, no longer touching the physical body. So by the time the child is thinking for himself, the Chakra is above his body and being used for short term memory and his intuition. Again, it works a lot like your computer. Like when you’re on your home page and you have three or four addresses present, ready to bring one of them to the forefront with a simple click. Your Manas Chakra holds all the patterns you use daily, right there at the tip of your mind, ready to upload at a moment’s notice:
Patterns dealing with time, like: “Almost time to go to work!” “How long until lunch?” “Don’t forget to set the alarm clock.” “What should I do for Love Time today?” “I can’t wait for dessert!” etc…
Patterns of things you need to get done, like: you have to remember to pick up the clothes at the cleaner, there’s the dishes and the car to wash, you need to pay the bills, walk the dog, and get your parents an anniversary card, etc…
Patterns of things you do, like: the way you shave, wash, and brush your teeth, the way you make love to your partner or yourself, the way you walk, sit, chew your food, drive, and meditate…
Patterns of things you think about, like: the challenge you had with your mother yesterday, “Its Monday tomorrow, I hate Mondays!” “I wonder if I am going to get that job I applied for?” “It was so much warmer today—summer is coming!” “I am not watching the news any more, it just depresses me!” What do you think about?
Patterns within patterns within patterns.
The Manas Chakra works differently for each person but we can give you some ideas of generalities.
There are three factors that govern a person’s ability to use the Manas Chakra.
One is their experience here on Earth, i.e. the age of the soul in terms of multiple lifetimes. Generally, older souls are able to use the Chakra more than younger souls and generally because they have more experience, they are more attuned to their intuition.
Every person is born into a lineage, a lineage of unloving beliefs to heal. They are given some gifts and abilities to enable them to heal the unloving beliefs and habits of their lineage and if they so choose to heal them, they will receive even more gifts and abilities. Their lineage purpose will be a factor in the setting of their Manas Chakra abilities.
There are Karmic factors that could govern a person’s ability to use the Chakra. Generally when a person is experiencing a Karmic affect, depending on the infraction, like lying, cheating, stealing, sexual dishonor, raging, etc… their Manas ability may be limited in some way that will move a person to grow stronger towards the opposite of their infraction. These types of limits and how they work will be explained in the Karma Chapter.
From these factors, each person’s ability to use the Manas Chakra is set and they live out their life. From that point, their ability to use the Chakra is governed by the person’s ability to grow, heal, and change unloving beliefs and habits… or not.
The Shear Chakra
Shear is a function of long term memory. It gives a person the ability to access the Spiral. The center of the Shear Chakra is connected to the third eye and from there the mind triangulates like a ray of light to an intended place on the Spiral—what s/he is trying to remember. It can take a person back to any point on their timeline, including previous life times for most people. The point desired is found through intention and a kind of a willful searching with the mind of the memory/spiral. This intentional searching enables a person to arrive at almost any point instantly or through just a few moments of searching. We refer to this function as remembering. Once there, she can become aware of some things and/or everything that is happening at that point in time in minute detail if needed, according to her intent and her Shear abilities.
The Shear Chakra is governed by the same three factors as the Manas Chakra: the age of the soul, the unloving beliefs of the lineage, and karma. In addition, the Shear is also governed by an intelligence factor. The more intelligent the person is, the stronger their Shear abilities are.
The Spiral is an exact trail of everything that happens. The creation of Earth is so important, so precious that there is never a time where any part of Earth’s creation disappears or is lost. If anything has ever happened, it is exactly where and when it happened on the Spiral. The Shear enables people to access the Spiral at either 100% or something less, and though that ability is set at birth it can change due to many factors. Constant stress/trauma in a person’s life can make the ability weaker. Conversely, if a person heals and releases their trauma, their Shear becomes stronger. I have had clients that could not remember any of their childhood because it was filled with so much trauma, but as they healed and released their trauma they were able to go back and remember parts or all of what had happened.
Some people have the ability to retain maximum memory, what we refer to as photographic memory. Quite often, these photographic memory gifts are coupled with certain qualities like being able to remember long numbers, or everything one has read, or complicated formulas, or exquisite music compilations, or even remember everything they have ever experienced in minute detail. Everyone else, something less.
Using myself as an example, my Guides have shown me that when I was a child of seven and eight, my short term memory/Manas and my long term memory/Shear were both about 80%. Said another way, I had the ability to access about 80% of my long and short term memory. When I learned how to generate and I almost generated myself to death (referring back to my life story, Chapter 1), the stress, trauma, and pain that I created in my life, cut the accessibility to my short term memory down to about 15% and my long term down to about 60%. Now that I have healed so many of my unloving beliefs, Love Reversals, and habits, and also released the pain of the trauma that was held within me, my short term memory is about 63% and my long term is up to the 80% I started with. Plus, the access to my short term memory is getting stronger day by day.
People that have photographic memory abilities usually start off close to a hundred percent and the ability usually wanes as they grow older, the reduction being caused by mental and emotional stress/trauma. As the stress/trauma is healed and released, the person may be able to retain their ability to use the Manas and the Shear. I am hoping to discover that when a person heals most or all of their unloving beliefs, Love Reversals, and habits (they obtain Doj,) they may be able to achieve photographic memory. We will see!
We are starting the Love Healing Process with this understanding of the Memory because it is really just nice to know, it can be comforting and useful.
When I received the vision of the Spiral, I was beside myself with excitement on just coming to understand a little about how the memory works. The Spiral just seems so smart, that everything that has ever happened here on Earth is possibly accessible to any of us who care to explore the past, if we can learn how. The past is not lost. It seems so valuable.
My guides shared with me that when people die, they step into the next part of their journey housed in and completely aware of their spiritual bodies. They also step out of time as we know it here on Earth and because of this, they gain the ability to see and experience any part of the Spiral easily. This enables them to go back and observe any and all parts of the life they just finished living, allowing them to explore and ponder, giving them priceless experience to aid them on their next adventure, life, or whatever is next for them.
The Spiral is useful to help you discover where, when, and how all your unloving beliefs were created. You can use the Spiral to graph all of your beliefs. We will show you how to do this in How To Find What You Believe, Chapter 18.
As we get into the science of how your beliefs are created and how they work, you will begin to understand why some memories seem like they happened just yesterday and why other memories seemed to just disappear. All your unloving beliefs started and have been functioning from your past and in order to heal those beliefs and the pain they cause you, you will be going back into your memory to find where you created them and how they started, so that you can understand them, heal them, and release the energy they have held within your bodies all this time. And as you heal those beliefs and release the pain, you will find that you will be able to remember those events that seemed to disappear.
In the intro to my book, Growing Big In Love, I told you about how I learned how to talk to my Guides when I was thirty-two. My Guides are my very intimate connection to the Divine. From my understanding, when I am talking with my guides, I am talking with Goddess God, and/or parts of Goddess God. What I mean by parts of Goddess God I will go into great detail in my next book called The Earth Project, but for here I will refer to them as my Guides. It is to them I attribute the success I have had in learning to heal myself through Love, and to help others heal themselves. It is the most intimate relationship you could imagine. We talk the same way I talk with you or anyone in my mind. They have loved me and guided me all of my life, but I just became aware of it when I was thirty-two. They know me better than I know myself. We have so much fun together all the time. They have helped me learn to open to my pain so that I could learn from all my experiences. I have never been alone! It is why I say “we recommend” instead of “I recommend” throughout this book and they have helped me become aware of the wonder that is all around and within me.
What is really amazing is that there are over seven billion people on the planet at this time and each one of them has their own unique relationship with Goddess God or whatever they believe. I have found that for most people if they have the intention to learn how to communicate with their own personal connection with Goddess God, all they have to do is learn how.
If you had an intimate relationship with Goddess God, what kind of questions would you ask her/him? I will tell you I have been asking my Guides question after question since the day I started communicating with them and the relationship has filled my life with wonder and comfort, with awe and comedy, with amazing sex and intimacy. It has not always been easy. In fact, for the first few years, it was more frustrating then you could know, but that was because I did not understand the guidelines for communicating. There are some very basic guidelines that when followed, will help you gain wondrous results so let’s start by explaining what good communication looks like.
First of all, we put this chapter in the Growing Big In Love book after the Love Tools because the first thing you want to do when you want to communicate with your Guides is to make sure you are in a loving state and that your heart is wide open. It so important to communicate through Love because this will help ensure that you will receive true information. Remember that all of your thoughts are coming through your knowledge and beliefs and if your heart is open, you will be able to perceive the truth about whatever you are focusing on.
Second, if you have the power to Lovingly meditate (stop your thoughts completely with your heart and eyes wide open) or you have Loving Strength of Mind (the same as Loving Meditation plus being able to hold your thoughts silent for two to three minutes at a time), you will have the willpower and mind power to keep your mind silent after you ask questions which makes it easier to listen for the answers and to discern your voice from their voice.
Also, it is important to understand that your mind and four bodies' (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies) main purpose is to prove to you that your beliefs are true, even if they are not. If you are trying to communicate with your Guides with your heart closed, they will usually answer according to your unloving beliefs. If your heart is open when you are communicating, this will ensure that you will be able to perceive the truth, even when talking about things that are not Loving.
So the first thing to be aware of when communicating with your Guides, and I will use the word Guides to refer to Goddess God or whatever you believe in from this point forward, is that your heart should be open and you should be smiling big.
Please hear this next suggestion loudly, never take any answers you receive literally. Communicating with your Guides is a way to access great information so that you can make informed decisions about what you could do or might not want to do. This next statement may or may not resonate with you. If it doesn’t, please disregard. You may have different beliefs. And your Guides are going to great amount of effort to create your body and the life that is all around you all the time so that you can live your life the way you want to. They have no desire to tell you what to do with your life. They are overjoyed to help you figure out what you want to do with your life.
When you ask questions about other people, the asking should be done with integrity, while honoring their space and privacy. In general, we humans have lots of unloving beliefs and Love Reversals about how we think about other people. If your heart is wide open and you are smiling when asking questions about other people, your answers will be more true and meaningful.
If you keep these suggestions in mind while communicating with your Guides, you will be able to create a very Loving, intimate relationship with them.
Your Guides are very excited to meet you if you do not already have a relationship with her/him/them. Following is a form of acknowledgment that you might want to engage into if you are just starting and also for those of you who already have an existing relationship. Your Guides would like to bestow upon you a sensation somewhere on or in your body that translates as “I love you.” And if you like this sensation, your Guides will continue to use this same sensation throughout your life as a way to say, “I love you” in any given moment.
Generally, the sensations people feel as communication from their Guides are unique to each person. But to give you an idea of the kind of thing you might experience, here is a short list: a tickling on the face, forehead, chest, breast, side, or somewhere else on the surface of or inside the body; a feeling of warmth in the heart, hands or other areas. You might hear a soothing sound, or notice a change in the quality of light or color, or feel a presence in or around your body, a sense of knowing, or feel a specific loving feeling, or simply hear your Guides whisper or say “I love you”.
Sometimes people are not able to detect a sensation on the first try. There are generally four reasons for this.
Some people can’t believe that this is really possible. The remedy: Believe it! This is so real!
Some people become aware of so many sensations in their body that they cannot decipher which one is the true sensation. The remedy: Ask your Guides to please make the sensation stronger so you can know for sure!
If even after asking sincerely to receive a sensation, and after trying the remedy for 1 and 2, you still do not feel anything, it may be that you are not yet ready to have this intimate relationship with your Guides. (This could be coming from fear, trust issues or unresolved trauma about God/All That Is/Guides, etc. …) The cure is to take some time to introspect and discover what might be holding you back from receiving Love from your Guides.
In teaching classes about this over the years, I have had three people who did not receive a sensation after trying all three of the remedies listed above, and I was told that they had Karma that kept them from receiving a sensation. I knew two of them as friends and saw that even though they could not communicate directly with their Guides, they had many experiences and dreams that were obvious messages from their Guides. If this happens to you there are a couple of things you might want to be aware of.
One of the reasons we have over seven billion people on this planet is that Goddess God is gaining the experience of every lineage being healed through this incredible Earth project. Every healed lineage brings forth gifts that are priceless and can only be gained by said path. Some of the issues will be about people not being able to personally connect with Goddess God in their minds and yet, they will still be able to possibly feel their connection and/or they will be able to access the Love that is within them in order to learn how to master living in Love, integrity, and wisdom. Even without the ability to communicate with your Guides, you will be able to access Love and develop your will power to make Loving decisions. If this happens to be your path, your Guides want you to know they are grateful for your choice/you being on this path. Instead of communication, you will learn to feel deeply. This path will help you develop your intuition to a very high degree. The stronger you grow in Love, the more aware you will become. I have a friend who has grown into this path and his logic, intellect, and awareness are off the chart.
To Start Communicating With Your Guides: Once you are ready, relax, silence your mind, smile, open your heart, and when you are ready, sincerely ask your Guides to give you a sensation telling you that she/he/they love you, and enjoy!
How did you do? What was your sensation? For those of you who received a sensation right off, isn’t that amazing? I remember when I received my sensation, it touched me deeply that my Guides were that present and that close to me. The next thing you might want to do is ask your Guide or Guides her/his/their names.
When I first started out, I only had one Guide. And as I learned how the metaphysics of life worked, I came to meet more of my Guides. I now have seven I converse with, some of them on a daily basis and some occasionally. Each one has their own name, characteristics, reasons for being in my life and a wondrous history. I am so grateful for their connection, attention, and Love they give to me all the time. They are all friends and mates I have had for a long time and I now know that I have had a connection with all of them for many lifetimes.
All of our Guides are so present. They know everything about creation, your life, everything you have gone through and are presently going through. And if your beliefs coincide with this statement, they are creating you and everything around you, all the time.
Once my Guides gave me my “I love you“ sensation, for the first few years after that rarely a day went by that they didn’t tell me they Love me. And these last few years, all of them tell me they Love me in many different ways. It is so fun!
I learned to talk to my Guides through the use of a pendulum and a set of Tarot cards. I’ll explain how I used these tools to communicate with them shortly. Using these tools, I asked questions about everything. I used the pendulum and the Tarot so much that eventually, I developed an ability to hear the answers in my mind. Now I do not need a pendulum or Tarot cards. I converse with my Guides and many other people’s Guides as easily as I am writing these words.
By using the pendulum and the Tarot, I learned to distinguish/feel/hear my Guide’s voice or voices, from my own inner voice, and my Guide’s conversation from my own thoughts. Of course, my Guides are creating both voices, but learning to discern the difference was a process I needed to go through. What I mean by this is that I do not know how I talk. I talk all the time whenever I want to but I do not know how I do it. From my understanding my guides are literally talking for me. And so I had to learn to discern my voice from their voice. I am also acknowledging here that I do not know how to create my own thoughts and that my Guides are doing this for me too. You may need to go through a similar process of using tools to develop communication with your Guides. I have had some students who have been able to start communicating simply by understanding their relationship with their Guides.
Communicating By Pendulum
I liked using the pendulum because of the personal touch. You can get answers quickly and it’s fun and easy to use.
You can create a pendulum by hanging an object at the end of a piece of string, ribbon, or small chain. This can be a beautiful rock, a crystal, a bolt, fingernail clippers, or anything that has enough weight to keep the string taut when you hold it out in front of you. To use a pendulum, hold the string between your thumb and forefinger, or looped over your forefinger and let the object swing easily in front of you, about eight inches below your hand. It does not matter which way you swing the pendulum, but it is important that you make the object swing back and forth. When you ask your Guide/s a question, s/he will answer by making the pendulum swing clockwise for “yes” and counterclockwise for “no”. Occasionally, the pendulum will not swing in either direction, which indicates that you might want to try a different question and/or ask the question using Tarot cards or some other tool. Occasionally, the pendulum will stop. There could be a number of reasons for this and you will have to figure out what they are for yourself. It could be as simple as check to see if your heart is open. And whatever the reason, it certainly makes you want to ask more questions.
Be patient with yourself and your Guides. It is possible that you will get wrong answers at times, even if your heart is open. Through all the years I have been communicating with my Guides, I have found that the main reason they give strange answers is so I won’t become dependent on them, to ensure that I will use my open heart to make good decisions and think for myself. You must use your intuition and awareness to help you get clear answers. If you have a hard time getting answers about anything, give it some time and try again later.
If this resonates with you, I would recommend that you make yourself a pendulum and start conversing with your Guide/s right now. Ask him/her/them questions about anything you want. Ask them if they want to communicate with you through the pendulum. Ask her/him if she/he wants to communicate with you through a Tarot deck or some other means. Thank her/him for creating your life, and then ask her/him if she/he sees everything you see. Ask her/him if she/he is a she or a he. Ask her/him if she/he loves you. Ask how many Guide friends or mates you have. What are their names, and what do they do for you? You have so much to talk about!
Communicating With Tarot Cards
I liked using the Tarot cards because the cards enabled me to access a broad range of information, much of which I would not have thought of myself. I have always used a deck called The Motherpeace Tarot. I like this deck because the book that comes with it gives you four directions for each card, which gives you four different readings for each card, and most decks give only two. Each Tarot deck is different and has its own feeling. There are some really beautiful decks available! Some decks are of the light, and some are of a dark nature. If you decide to purchase a deck for yourself, try to make sure it feels right for you before you buy it.
A Tarot deck usually comes with a book that explains how to use it and what each card means in each position. Some books give great detail and some are more simple in their descriptions. It is important that you choose the kind that suits your needs. Read the descriptions of the many different ways you can use the Tarot, and take comfort in knowing that you will be getting information directly from your Guide/s. Remember to keep your heart open at all times, and to have fun. Using the Tarot can be an incredible experience!
There are other tools you can use to communicate with your Guide/s. You can use Ruins, astrology, numerology, the Enneagram, channeled writing, prayer, meditation, and more. Any of the tools just mentioned can be very helpful for learning to distinguish your Guide’s voice from your own thoughts. Eventually, you will not need any of the tools to communicate with your Guide/s. They will communicate with you through your mind as easily as talking to your best friend. What an incredible event that will be for you! What a blessing!
For the last twenty-seven years, my Guides have used a language of the body called Sensate to communicate with me. Your Guide/s can relay information to you by creating sensations in different areas of your body. Where the sensations are felt and how they feel express very tangible bits of information. It is a very intimate way to communicate. Very helpful realizations can come from the sensations and manifestations of where sensations or disease shows up, which correlate to Sensate. Using Sensate is very helpful when you are actively using the Love Healing Process. Understanding Sensate can help people heal from many different kinds of disease. The language of Sensate is the topic of the chapter after this one and you will have to purchase Growing Big In Love to read it.
“I can’t believe you are so close to me and I cannot feel you!”
“My love, everything you are feeling is what I am feeling! If I am not feeling it, you are not feeling it!”
“Yes, thank you! That is amazing!”
“Sometimes I cannot tell which one of you is communicating with me.”
“If you will put more awareness into feeling us when we’re communicating with you, you will become more aware of our different personalities coming through.”
“O.K. thank you!”
“When I am feeling pain, are you feeling the pain as well?
“I have to be feeling the pain in order for you to feel the pain. It does not affect me as it does you. I am so big that when I am creating you, it takes only a tiny bit of my consciousness to create you. So when I am feeling “what is a lot of pain” for you, it is a very tiny bit of pain for me. Still, it hurts me and we are doing this for a very good reason: We are learning to heal ALL of our pain!”
“That is very exciting! Thank you!”
“So you are seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting for me?”
“Yes, and creating every part of your body, breathing you, beating your heart, moving you, sleeping you and Loving you.”
“Why are you doing all of this for me?”
“So you can discover why we are doing this for you. The journey is everything and worth more than you could ever know. Even after you discover the why, the gifts you will gain from the journey will continuously grow and multiply forever and ever and ever…”
Wikipedia – Karma means action, work, or deed. It also refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual (effect). Good intent and good deeds contribute to good karma and future happiness; while bad intent and bad deeds contribute to bad karma and future suffering.
This is a very accurate definition of Karma. We could say that Loving intentions and actions create Loving karma which is wonderful and unloving intentions and unloving actions create unloving karma which is experienced as different kinds of pain.
I believe that the reason Karma has never been explained in detail before is that in general, it has not been understood that the universe, our minds and four bodies, go to great effort to prove to us that our beliefs are true, even when they are not. We are all designed that way. The universe will mirror your beliefs. Whatever is happening in your life, the experience you are creating or receiving as a result of your action or inaction as life moves on, is a mirror of what you believe, moment by moment. When you are in Love and experiencing Love, this is fantastic, totally awesome, heaven on earth. When you are feeling states of unloving emotions and experiences which come from your unloving beliefs, this can be annoying, fearful, boring, painful and even very painful. Therefore, it stands to reason that you can empower yourself by learning more about how Karma, the results of your intentions and actions, work.
Karma is interwoven into the fabric of the Earth Project in such a way that it governs the way we live and enables us to learn from our actions and reactions and our choices to act, not act or react. The Karma system is so ingenious that its one purpose is to teach us that if we act and react in Love, we will feel great and if we act and react in an unloving way, we will experience pain. If you act or react in a Loving way towards other people, animals, plants, the earth, etc… you will feel your Love and you will be able to feel some of their/its joy or pleasure and if you act or react in an unloving way towards other people, animals, plants, the earth, etc… you will feel your pain and some of or all of their pain depending on the situation.
The way that Karma works enables us to have free will, the ability to choose Love or pain. Now why is free will so important?
Imagine what our lives would be like if we did not have the choice to do anything unloving or painful. If we couldn’t lie, couldn’t steal, or cheat or kill or interrupt, even if we tried because the metaphysics of life wouldn’t allow us to, then we would have very limited choices. If we didn’t have pain, if love was all we could experience, we would not be able to develop or strengthen our willpower because everything would be so easy. There could be very little growth and any growth that did happen would take a very long time to come about. This would make for a boring existence, but we wouldn’t know we were bored because we couldn’t feel the pain of it. We wouldn’t be able to grow very much. Progression in intelligence would slow to the speed of a snail. So, choice gives us the ability to grow intelligent in a short amount of time.
Look how far mankind has progressed in the past one hundred years. All of us working together have progressed our technologies in incredible ways—from horse travel to flights to the Moon and Mars in a hundred years. It is the motivation of a hungry stomach, the possibility of achieving a happy heart, and an active creative mind that make our lives wondrous, beautiful, fascinating, fun, and worth striving for, worth getting up for every morning. All this incredible growth has come about because we can be motivated and have choices.
So, the creators of Earth have built into the metaphysics of Earth a system of consequential laws we call Karma that govern the results of our actions and lack of actions in some cases. For there to be free will, we must be able to make a mistake that might harm ourselves or others, create a little pain for someone, and interrupt someone’s space a little knowing that if we do there will be painful aftereffects. This gives us choices, provides excitement, helps us develop strength of mind, builds character and introduces all of us to the playing fields of Love verses pain.
There is a lot more information about Karma and how it works, the specifics of what happens when a person lies, cheats, steals, kills, etc… contained in Growing Big In Love. If you want to access it you will have to buy the book.